Resolutions and the preciousness of life all rolled into one. Why do we all have resolutions. We want to change our lives. We want to set a list for ourselves of things we've been meaning to do but never got around to. So we create new years resolutions. The most popular resolutions (well, what I think are most popular)?
- Lose weight
- Eat healthier/no more junk food
- Be happy
- Be a better person
- Get a job (or a better one)
- Fall in love (or show that special person in your life love from you more often)
You know, those really all are great resolutions. But again it just baffles me. Why, oh, why do we create new years resolutions, try for a week to make them happen and as soon as we fail tell ourselves "Oh well, there's always next year."? I don't get it. But I won't claim I've never fallen into this ever revolving trap door. I definitely have made new years resolutions, year after year, always disappointed in myself when I fail to achieve them. This year I've decided not to. I'll tell you why in a bit but first let's go through each of these resolutions and point out exactly what is wrong with each and every one of them and why they are more than likely not going to happen. And why we should stop setting ourselves up for failure.
Lose weight: This is a really good resolution, I won't lie. But by a raise of hands, how many of us have put this on our list, tried so hard for a few weeks and then fallen off the workout wagon? Yeah, I thought so. This is one thing that we cannot guarantee ourselves. We can trick ourselves into believing it. But unless we are SERIOUSLY motivated it will not happen the way we imagine it in our heads with all the rainbows and kitties and happy stuff we see along with it. It won't happen. There are also too many factors that can hinder the results of this wish. Health issues, motivation (or lack thereof), life in general getting in the way. Try and try all you might and major props to you to have the motivation, will power and life putting all the pieces in the right place for you. Now I'm not saying don't try to lose weight if you really want to. Try and try and try. But you cannot beat yourself up if it doesn't work out the way you want to, because nothing in life is guaranteed. Nothing. Life will screw with us and will make things tough. That's why it is life and not a dream. Trust me, I will be trying to lose wight to. Because I really want to. But I will be toning down my expectations. So in your image of a thinner, fitter you take out the images of the rainbows and the perfect baby kitties. That way if it doesn't work out the way you wanted that's okay. Just take some time and then start again, but you don't have to wait a whole year to do that. :]
Eat healthier/no more junk food: Really? Honestly, I don't see how this is even a REAL resolution. When america believes sticking a mcdonalds, taco bell, wendy's, kfc, etc just about every mile in this country is okay, it's impossible. Not to mention when you walk into a grocery store and there is always a table/stand of sweet crap just sitting there waiting for you, begging you to take it home like it's a little orphan child that you can't possibly say no to. This day and age, eating no more junk food is impossible. Eating healthier, not impossible. Though very hard. All you have to do is go to the store on a full stomach, thus making it easier to avoid the sweets and easier to go for the healthy stuff (it works, I swear. I thought it was a myth too because I LOVE my sweets). And when you may be possibly driving by a fast food place (what am I saying possibly for, it's more than likely you'll pass by one when driving), just remind yourself what you are trying to achieve in life. It will help. You'll still stop sometimes but as long as you stand your ground, you'll see yourself stopping at one less often.
Be happy: Be happy? Be happier maybe, but not be happy. Not a single person can tell me with 100% complete honesty that through Jan 1st-December 31st of any year that you have not had a single moment of happiness. Impossible. You may go through months of depression due to something that happened. But it's impossible to have not had a single moment of happiness at ALL. Even if it was just something that only made you bring out a half smile, there has been at least one thing that has caused some sort of joy stir up inside you. If you want to be happier, perfect. Everyone can always use a bit more happiness. Everyone deserves it. But you need to be the strong person that I know is deep down inside there somewhere, pick yourself up and make a point to see the brighter side of things. Did you get in a car crash and you got away fine but your car not so lucky? Insurance will get you a new one or cut you a check. Bright side. Lose a family member? I get it, it's devastating. I recently lost my grandfather. You need not mourn for long. After a bit just remember the great times you had with them. Family would much rather you celebrate their life than mourn over their death and miss enjoying some of the life you are still so lucky to have any day. Bright side. There is always one in just about every situation. Find that silver lining.
Be a better person: Unless you are a complete asshole with a sampling of douchebag and a hint of prick, there's not much to make you a better person. We all need to understand that everyone has bad days, even bad weeks. That doesn't make us a bad person. Have you ever held the door open for someone? Are you a parent yourself and ever given a young mom with her screaming baby one of those "I know how you feel, it's okay" looks? Given up your seat on a bus/train/etc for someone? Were you shopping at a store, something go wrong and rather than yell at the employee who had no control over it, calmly talked with them to fix the situation the best they can? I've you've done all or even one of these things, you are a good person. You have empathy, compassion, understanding and patience. You will have your bad days but you are a great person. You just keep being awesome like you are and you are enough of a gift to this world we are ever losing faith in.
Get a job: Just shush right now. You can not guarantee yourself the obtaining of a job (or better one) in a certain time frame. You have no control over it. All you need to do is apply at every place imaginable, go to the interviews, present yourself as the best you that you can be and hope they liked you enough to hire you. Unless you are a lazy asshole that thinks applying at one place every month will be the magic cure for unemployment, then you will be doing everything correctly that is in your control if you follow the above steps.
Fall in love: Why is this even on a lot of peoples resolution lists?! It's love, not a cake. We can't just mix together all the ingredients needed, pop it in the oven, set the timer and when the timer buzzes, we know it's ready. Love is not like that. Love comes unexpectedly, on its own time, at its own place. If you meet someone amazing, then great! But don't start talking about marriage and saying i love you and all that gibberish on the second date. If it was meant to be, it will happen. Whether it be 3 weeks or 3 years, it will happen when it happens. Love has this funny way of catching you off guard, having you go on a hell of a roller coaster ride of tests in your relationship, making you take 3 stops, a train and a bus all before you finally reach the end. Which is always love itself. Because if you and the person you meet can withstand anything thrown at you, then it's meant to be. But you can't rush it. You have to just let it happen. Because I promise, it will happen...when it's meant to be.
We need to stop trying to force ourselves to live up to standards that we ourselves may not even believe in. If you are happy with yourself, then don't change you.You are you for a reason. You are not you because you let your mother, best friend, neighbor and checkout girl at the store tell you what is right for you. You are you because there is only one of you. You are no one else so you shouldn't let anyone else make you what they want. You don't want to lose weight right now, then fine. You do it when you are ready. You are a super grouchy person and like it that way right now? Then fine, stay grouchy.
Starting now we need to put a stop to new years resolutions and this belief that a new year brings a new beginning. Because it doesn't. The 31st of December is just a day. The 1st of January is just the next day. Besides the fact that the numbers of the date change, there is nothing special about it. Nothing.
If you want things to change, there is no date restriction on when they need to be done. There is also definitely no set time in when they can be started.
A beginning of something is only the beginning when you decide it is.
